Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Yep. We finally found it. Peace. Ahhhhh.

A few posts back, I talked about the fact that we were at a crossroads, and we had lots of choices to make. And those choices felt monumental, and we felt like we were sure to screw it up somehow.

But. We had an ah-ha moment, finally, and our choices have been made, and I know, without a doubt in my mind, that we have made all the RIGHT choices. I know I said before that there weren't "right" choices and "wrong" choices, and I still believe that. But I also believe that there was a "right choice for us", and we found it. It took a looooooot of talking, some yelling, some tears, loooooots of frustration, but we both finally realized, that we actually agreed. GASP! Crazy, I tell ya. But it's true. And it feels damn good.

So with our peace and our choices, came more choices, but the fun kind. I have been staring at paint chips on my walls for almost a week now, agonizing over what color looks the best in the light at each time of day. I think I've got it figured out, but...well....the sun just shifted, so my whole mind set might too.

In other news, it's freezing as crap outside. Yeah, freezing as crap. And while Landon and I have started going a little stir crazy inside the house, it's been so nice to stop, slow down, and really savor these last few days. I haven't spent time cleaning, or doing laundry, or stressing out over choices. I've just played with my little guy. I've snuggled. I've laughed, sang, danced. I've wondered what happened to my 5 lb baby. And I have enjoyed every single second, and every single breath of air that we have shared.

Yesterday, his lunch looked like this:
And now you're asking why in the world this is important. Because of this. 20 months ago, my baby was struggling to drink 2 oz of milk at a time. Slowly, we got him up to his "right" amount, and he was drinking his meals every 2 hours. Then suddenly he was eating rice cereal. And then it turned into little pureed (nasty looking) meals. Then we moved onto real people food, cut up into teeny tiny little bites. How in the world did we get to this? A real persons meal. No cutting up, no puree, no liquid meal. Just a real sandwich, real apples, and real crackers. It may seem silly and insignificant to you, but to this mama, it's kind of heartbreaking. But it's also kind of a huge triumph. 20 months ago they put a tube up his nose to force him to eat. They told us we couldn't take him home until he ate more. They let him go, not sure he would catch up to the right weight. Well look at him now. An appetite for life almost as large as his appetite for anything edible. We did it, monkey!!!

Today, we built a fort. And what is the first thing my precious boy did? Went and got a picture of Jeremy and I and brought it into the fort. Decoration? Including Daddy? I don't know what his thought process was, but it was cute all the same.

After lunch, I ate my daily consumption of three Dove candies. And, let's face it, the messages inside of those things are kind of like my second Bible. I take them very seriously. Today, I opened a precious nugget of deliciousness to discover:
It's like they were reading my mind over these last few days. Could I love being a mom any more? I really don't think I could. Could I love this crazy boy any more? I know I couldn't. So, Dove, amen. I will continue to love what I do. 

I'm feeling now like there wasn't really much of a point to this post. If you made it all the way through without saying "What the hell is she talking about??", pat yourself on the back, and get yourself a little nugget of deliciousness and joy. You deserve it. 

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