Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Letter To Landon

Landon Warren, Monkey, Bubba,

Today I spent a lot of time watching you. Just soaking you up. Taking everything in. And I decided I could do it all day, every day, for the next 100 years.

Every day you become more "you". You learn new things. You make new faces. You say new words. You laugh at new things. Your personality continues to grow each second.

And I am loving every single part of you. More each day, if that's even possible. I watch you as you pay such close attention to the TV. As you examine your toys so carefully. As you study your books. As you clean your plate at every meal. As you laugh with Daddy.

You're perfect. Even when you are digging through the cats food bowl for the 14th time in one day, you are still perfect.

I can't stand the thought of any one ever hurting your feelings. Or pushing you down on the playground. Or telling you aren't the most spectacular thing I have ever done.

I want you to know, forever, that it doesn't matter what people say, what people do, what people think. None of it matters. Because to me, your mama, you are, and always will be, the most spectacular thing I have EVER done.

I didn't know I could be so good at something. And then I created you. And that's when I realized this is why I'm here. You. You are why God made me. To be your mommy. And I hope you know that I am trying my absolute hardest every single day to be the best mommy I can be. I know I'm not always the best. I know I get frustrated, and I can get impatient. But know that even then, I am loving you more than anything else in this world. And that when I say "Landon Warren!!!!" in my "angry" voice, those words still taste just as sweet on my tongue. Landon Warren. My baby. My creation. My everything.

You're the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I go to bed so grateful every night. The reason I have purpose all those hours in between.

There are not enough words in all the languages in the world, to tell you how much I love you. How thankful I am that you are here, that you are mine. There is NO possible way for me to make you understand it. All the kisses I cover you in every day may be an indication, but it still only scrapes the surface.

I was told that I didn't get you by chance. That you were hand picked for me. How lucky am I? That YOU were the chosen one for me. I don't feel worthy, not in the least. But I feel so, so, so unbelievably humbled that someone up there thought highly enough of me to give me you. I pray every day that I am living up to the expectations placed on me when they chose you.

I promise you, every single day, that I will always love you more than anyone else can love you. And there are a LOT of people that love you a TON. And they probably all think they love you as much as I do. But I'm telling you, it's not possible.

And I promise you that I will always kiss you, a hundred times or more, each day, for the rest of my life. Even when you are 17 and so annoyed with me, I will still kiss you. Every day. Just so you know exactly how much I love you. I don't ever want you to doubt, for even a second, how very much you are loved. You have no idea, kiddo.

And I promise you that every day I will be the best mommy I can be. I'm not perfect, but I will always try to be. I will always try to be everything you need. And maybe then some. Because that's what you deserve. And I want to deserve you.

So you carry on, keep learning and growing and becoming more "you". And I will keep on loving you. Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day. Promises, promises.

All My Love,

1 comment:

  1. Ditto.... Kelly Nicole....from your Momma :) I love you MORE !!!!!