It's only 12:13 PM as I start writing this, and I have already encountered enough in my day to make for a very long, very rant filled post. If you aren't in the mood for a sick mom doing a lot of venting, turn away now. Otherwise, please, come join me.
My day started at 2:13 AM when I woke up having a coughing attack like no other. This cough was a monster that could not be tamed by anything. Not drinking, not coughing, not sucking on a cough drop. Nothing. It just wanted to last 10 minutes. 10 minutes of me feeling like I would never stop coughing for the rest of my life. Dramatic you say? Perhaps. But it was 2AM, I felt like CRAP, and I was AWAKE. Coughing. I'm allowing myself to be dramatic.
Landon got up at 7, feeling much better, thank goodness. Still in dire need of boogie retrievals every 5 minutes, but other than that, just about good as new. I know this because he took great joy in pulling every.single.tissue out of a brand new tissue box that I left sitting on our end table. My mistake, I know. I chose to take a second to make a cup of something warm for my throat. Dang it, Kelly! You don't get a second!!! Lesson learned, life. Lesson learned.
Luckily, my wonderful hubbs showed back up after leaving for work early with a bag of sick mama goodies. DayQuill, NyQuill, cough drops, tissues, and of course, a Skor bar. That's a good man. That was about the only happy in our morning.
Let's discuss getting ready for a minute. As any mother of a toddler knows, it's never an easy experience. As the mother of MY toddler, it is always accompanied by being pushed out of the way so he can pull every single hair product I own out of it's place, stepping on him multiple times, finding little treats scattered all throughout the house (my favorite thus far? The maxi pads that he dispersed throughout the whole house. Awesome.), and the eventual screaming when I finally start to pick up the mess he made. Today, add to that a mama who could not have wanted to get ready ANY less, and a toddler who has been down for a couple days, and is dying to use up all that stored energy. Mommy meltdown. THEN add to it that as I'm blow drying my hair, I realize that yesterday's dye job really made it a dark shade of RED. RED!!!! I didn't want RED hair! I really should have added whiskey to my morning drink....
We move on with our day. We somehow get out the door (a bag of cough drops, and a wad of tissues in tow), I'm able to make an appointment this afternoon to get my hair fixed, and we get to the bakery to order my mom's birthday cake. Now if you're wondering why I chose to do this TODAY, it's because it was my mother's ONLY request for her birthday, and I needed to do it before I either a.) forgot and it was too late or b.) got even sicker and couldn't get myself there. Thank goodness for a NICE woman at the bakery, who gave Landon a FREE baseball cookie. Lady, I love you. Partly because you got me in and out of there at lightning speed, and with a happy toddler, and partly because I shared that cookie with him and it was delicious.
And then. It all went down hill.
Needed a few things from Target (when don't I need a few things from Target? But it was legit this time, honestly), so we stop in. Landon was getting restless, it was past nap time, and his runny nose was making him crazy. So, I did what ANY mother would do, and found a bag of animal crackers, opened them, and gave him a couple. Problem solved. The rest of my needs were found, loaded in the cart, and I was happy. Get to the check out line. Normally, I love every cashier I get at Target. We have a particular favorite who knows Landon's name (yes, I'm there too much, I get it, thanks), and is always happy to see us. She was no where to be found today. Today we got evil cashier. I hand her the animal crackers to ring up and Landon starts to fuss, she rings them up, hands them back to him and says "You're going to turn into a cookie monster!". Friendly enough, right? I thought so. So I play along and say "Turn into one? He already IS one!!". Big mistake, mama. I was then informed that he was going to turn into the statistic that she heard on this mornings news. Deep in the back of mind, I knew what was coming, but in my clouded, stuffed up head, I did the unthinkable, knowing it was only going to make me feel worse. I said, "Oh? What's that?" (STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!). "Half of America is going to be obese by the year....." I stopped listening. Wait. You're telling me because my kid is eating animal crackers he is going to be obese? Listen lady. This kid started at 5 teeny tiny pounds, a month early, who wouldn't eat anything unless it was put through a tube in his nose. And today, he is a HAPPY, HEALTHY 16 month old who loves to eat. I will give him as many damn animal crackers as I want. Besides, come on. You have never been in a store with your toddler who is getting anxious and did whatever you could to get through the trip and out the door? I don't believe you if you say you didn't. Every mom has. Hell, we left Target with a life size Dora pillow a few months back. I'd say the animal crackers are minimal.
As if that's not bad enough, I did the NEXT unthinkable thing, and SNEEZED. You know, because I have a cold. Oooooh my. Well, cue bitch behind me (if you don't like my language, leave now. I told you this was going to be a rant, and you decided to read until this point. It ain't gonna get any prettier from here on out). Evil #2 says, "And you're the reason everybody is getting sick. If you are sick you should stay home, not be out at the store". Ok. That did it. Now this Mama is tired of being attacked, tired of feeling like crap, so it's game over for you, little lady. I put on my nicest smile, and softest voice and said, "Are you a mother?" With pure and utter disgust she says "No". Smile again, Kelly. "Then you don't understand that mom's don't get sick days. I would much rather be at home in bed, getting better, but life goes on, and I have things to do, and a child to take care of." Of course, she rolled her eyes, which should have infuriated me more, but I was so damn proud of my protest, that I didn't let it get to me. We got our bags, said "Thank you" as politely as I could, and walked out the door.
Not surprisingly, I got to the car and started shaking and could feel the tears coming. Why do people have to be SO disrespectful? I know I'm sick, I know I'm spreading germs, and I'm sorry. I really am. I am doing the best I can. If I had the choice to stay home, curled up under the covers, high on cold medicine, believe me, I would. But I don't have that choice. This mom gig is not one that I can call in to when I'm having a bad day. Good day, bad day, healthy day, sick day, every day, I'm a FULL TIME MOM. And damn it, I AM doing the best I can. Lucky for you, Evil #2 (and you too Evil #1), if you DO catch my germs, you get to call in sick and stay in bed. Enjoy that.
Thank goodness for mom friends who let me call and vent and listen to my stuffed up voice and nasty cough while I run through the events that just made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. And thank you for letting me realize that crying will get me no where. It'll only make my nose run more, and it won't solve a thing. Instead, I'm choosing to laugh at this day so far. Because in a few minutes, Landon and I are going to lay down and take a nap together. And then I'm going to go have my hair fixed. And then my awesome husband is going to come home and take over toddler duty, and let me go to bed, with my NyQuill. And let's be honest, Landon, Jeremy, my Mom, my mama friend that lets me vent (cough *Natalie* cough), they're the only people that I've encountered today that really matter. And the cookie lady. She's a good seed too.