What was supposed to be a fun day out in the sun with my fellas turned into a stark realization of how truly "un-super" I am. But don't worry, it has a happy ending.
Stoney Creek. 6 gorgeous miles of bike/walk path around the lake. 6 HILLY miles. Add a husband on a bike, me on a bike, and a 28 pound toddler loaded into a 15 pound bike trailer, which is loaded with all the crap (sorry, no nicer word) needed to get two adults and a 15 month old around a 6 mile trail, hooked up to my bike. What does that all add up to? Exhaustion. Pure exhaustion. Not to mention a lot of sweat.
So we start off ready to kill it. Somehow forgetting the last time we did this and I wanted to die at the end. Die dead. Quite literally thought my legs would fall off. It only took a mile for all those painful memories to come flooding back. So as I struggle to breathe while pulling my cartload behind me, (and my darling husband leisurely strolls on his bike behind us, wondering why I am panting like a 400 pound man), a happy little "Super Mommy" passes me. Now let me describe "Super Mommy" as best as I can. Perfect hair and make up. All dressed up in her biker gear, which mind you, matches her bike. Pulling TWO children, both larger than mine, in her bike trailer. No sweat, no panting, just pure bliss as her and her children enjoy the beautiful day. My initial thought was, "Wow, that's impressive", (you know, as I have hair falling out all over, I'm sweating like a marathon runner, and panting like my parents dog after a freakishly fast run around the backyard). That was on the first pass. The SECOND time she passed us (I think we were MAYBE on mile 2.75), my thought was "For real? Is this real life?" Oh, but it was. Our SCREAMING toddler caused us to stop and take a break around mile 3. 20 minutes tops. During which my normally eat-anything-and-everything son refused to eat the chicken I had packed for him. So what did Not-So-Hot Mess (except really....freaking HOT, but the sweaty kind, not at all the cute kind) Mama do? Oh I started stuffing pieces of chicken in the top of his raspberries (try finding THAT recipe on Pinterest). But ya know what, it worked! And I was a little proud of my inventive thinking. Even though Super Mommy probably had an entire perfect picnic packed in her bike trailer. But NO. Banish those thoughts! Take your happy and let it fuel the rest of this damned bike ride. So here we go again. Except that the toddler is STILL screaming bloody murder (for no valid reason...at ALL), and flipping Super Mommy passed me AGAIN at mile 4.25. Now you have GOT to be kidding me!!!!!! There's something I'm missing. A secret passage way? Propellers on her bike? Is she ACTUALLY Super Woman? What is going on here? And you know what? Her children, laughing happily in their little bike trailer of death. COME ON!
Somehow, although I have no idea HOW, we finished our 6 miles. This stubborn German had to give in and let her stubborn husband pull the last two miles. I am absolutely positive that if I had not, I would still be lying on the side of the trail. Crying. Crying SO hard. But. We made it. And of course, as soon as we got to the car, our maniac toddler was replaced with our sweet, smiling, giggling toddler who just wanted to hug and kiss. This should make me happy. But ah. I'm me. We got in the car and I immediately started to cry. Partly because I was dying, dying dead. And partly because I felt so defeated. But WHY!? I finished the 6 miles!!! My kid is giggling in the back seat!! My husband somehow found it in his heart to tell me I looked HOT all sweaty and gross. But no, I was crying. When my dumbfounded husband asked me why, all I could say was "Super Mommy". How the hell is that woman doing it? Why can't I do it? Why am I reduced to sweat and tears (and dying dead) after only 6 miles, when she, by my calculations, did at LEAST 18 miles. Shit, she is probably still out there peddling along, smiling and singing. Together we went through all the ways I was better than her. Maybe she's divorced because she's a real bitch? (Nope, she had a huge rock on her hand, but I'm going to ignore that) Maybe this is the only time she spends with her kids? Maybe she doesn't read to them, or sing to them, or hold them when they cry? Maybe she's mean? Maybe....Maybe....Maybe. We could have gone on all day. And then I realized, this is stupid. What do I care? I hope she is wonderful to those children because they were beautiful, and they are children and deserve to have a wonderful mom. I hope she does ride 20 miles on her bike every day, because it means she's taking good care of herself so she can be here to take care of her kids. I hope her and her husband (who is probably out finding a cure for cancer) are living out their happily ever after. I really do. Because I went out today and rode 6 miles to help better myself so I can be here to take care of my son. I don't work so I can spend every waking moment with him. I read to him, I sing to him (no, not well, but I do it), and I hold him and kiss him every chance I get. I have an amazing husband, who may not be finding the cure to cancer, but he is working his ass off every day to provide a house and food for my son and I. He loves us and he takes care of us, every single day. I'm living out MY happily ever after. In case your wondering, yes, my frozen lemonade from Panera did also help with these revelations.
The rest of our day consisted of nap time, cooking dinner (WHOLE GRAIN SPAGHETTI, and FRESH FRUIT no less!), eating and laughing together, bath time, and watching as the man I love read bedtime stories to the best thing God ever gave me. Those things, at the end of the day, made ME feel like "Super Mommy", although rest assured: I did NOT look like her.