Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My Current Dilemma

Hello, all! Hope everyone had a great first day of school, and a great Tuesday!

My little man and I had a pretty uneventful day. Woke up to rain, lots and lots of rain. So we made eggless (which means we both got to eat some leftover batter) strawberry muffins (with fresh, ORGANIC strawberries) for breakfast! And they were delish. Landon inhaled his two. We finished breakfast with some couch snuggles (always a favorite of mine) and some reading. After morning nap, I decided, since the rain had commenced, we should go to Target. Start the dilemma.

First of all, I did not shower, just brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put a hat on. Sexy. Ego slam number 1. Secondly, I got to Target, and realized, I had no idea why I was there. I needed nothing. There wasn't even something that I thought I wanted. So we started to wander. And wander. And wander. As we wandered past the doors, I saw that it had started to POUR again. Awesome. Well, might as well wander some more. Stumbled across some colored denim. Enter major dilemma. This is the big thing right now, right? I could pull this off, sure? So I grab a pair and head to the dressing room.  Mind you, my beautiful little dude is being awesome this whole time, which is such a rarity. It was as if he was just happy to be with me, I loved it. But anyway. I shimmy into these jeans, and snap a picture, because of course, such a decision cannot be made without my bestie's input. She says I can rock them. I'm unsettled. Put them back in the cart and start to wander some more. Text Mommy and ask her, always smart to get a second opinion. She says "Sure...you can PROBABLY wear them". I take more pictures. No definitive decision. So we wander some more. I went back to this rack at LEAST 5 times, changed colors of the jeans, put them in the cart, took them out of the cart. Eventually, we left Target, in the pouring rain, empty handed. And....I wanted to cry.

Dressing myself has become such a chore, and not at ALL enjoyable. I'm NOT trendy, so I find it very hard to pull off the latest trends. Plus, trendy takes some work, and most days, I just don't have it in me to care enough to put the work in. Now, please don't get me wrong, if I'm going out to dinner, or with friends, or some special occasion, I WILL change out of the yoga pants and slap some make up on my face, maybe even attempt to do my hair (which is usually not a very successful operation). But trips to Costco, Target, the bank, the grocery store.....I don't feel that any of those require much effort. But what if I run into someone? I'm to the point of just not caring. If you can't appreciate that my KID is dressed super cute (because let's face it, HE always is), and that I'm out running house wife errands with a squirmy toddler, so I just didn't have the time to care about MY outfit and face, then I don't really care what you think of me anyway. Ooooh how I wish that was true. Of course I care. But, nowadays, I just don't care enough to do anything about it. Maybe I should have more pride in myself, and care more about getting ready before leaving the house each day. But remember in the last post when I said I throw my whole self into ONE thing, and right now that thing is being a Mom? Yep. Still true. So I'd rather focus on my sons needs and wants than my own. Simple.

But of course, it still gets me down, I AM human. But nothing that a few texts to and from the bestie can't help. And an impending trip to IKEA with the bestie on Thursday is EXACTLY what I need. I may not be able to dress myself, but I CAN dress my house. One thing I'm proud to say I can do....fairly well. And a day out of the house with my best friend, my other half? Well, that's just the cure all. And yes, I WILL dress myself for that day out of the house. Probably in the colored jeans that she has convinced me I need to go back tomorrow and buy. Oy. Talk about bipolar.

The rest of our day consisted of lunch, more snuggles, lots of laughs, nap, and dinner with my Dad! A pleasant surprise, seeing as it's so rare that I get to see him during the week. But Jeremy was at soccer, and my mom was with my Grandma, so he stopped in to have dinner with Landon and I. It was a great ending to our day, for sure.

Followed by our walk, since the rain FINALLY stopped, bath time, story time, and bedtime. The hubbs even surprised me with a pair of earrings just because he happens to love my crazy self. Now THAT'S an ego boost ;)

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